I am a counselor. I am also a daughter, a wife, an athlete, a gamer, an artist, a musician, and the list goes on. There are many aspects or parts of myself and there are many things I enjoy. However, like many other humans, I battle my own thoughts when considering making time for self-care. Through studying counselor stress and compassion fatigue, I realized that each counselor needs to find unique ways to reduce stress (Willey, 2023). What works as self-care for one counselor, may not help another counselor. For myself, discovering the unique and calming qualities of baking bread has been quite therapeutic. I also worked on building a habit of doing weekly yoga. This was difficult to fit into my schedule but I now look forward to it. 

I used to hate cooking and I really mean I hated it. I later recognized the negative thoughts I had been thinking such as "This takes too long" or "I am not good at cooking." I had to change my mindset over time to try to view it as something that is important to bring nutrients to my and my family's bodies. I also found that for me, baking bread is very therapeutic. I work with my hands, I knead the dough, and then while it bakes the yummy smell permeates the house. In terms of self-care, I guess you could say it is a grounding technique for me. I had to push out the thoughts of I don't have time and hold onto the thoughts that it is nutritious for me and my family.  

I am also learning about baking bread and building faith which also helps my mindset. Bread is mentioned many times in the Bible such as in I Kings 17 (New International Version) where the jar of flour and jug of oil did not run out for the widow and her son who baked bread for Elijah. John 6:35 (Amplified Bible) also states: "Jesus replied to them, 'I am the Bread of Life. The one who comes to Me will never be hungry, and the one who believes in Me [as Savior] will never be thirsty [for that one will be sustained spiritually].'"

My history with exercise is a little different. I do not enjoy going to the gym, probably because I am a highly sensitive person who likes to work out alone or in nature. During the pandemic, I realized that I was depressed and was not exercising much. I could still go outside of course but the motivation was lacking and I would make excuses such as "It's too hot outside" or "I get headaches when I run" and would talk myself out of leaving the house. I realized it was the same with the gym even prior to the pandemic. I would pay for a monthly membership but avoided it because again, I like to exercise alone which is not an excuse but a preference. However with watching indoor yoga on my TV, the excuses are not valid, it is not too hot because I am indoors. I do not get headaches from the heat. I also found that yoga helped me relax more and to notice my body and to reconnect. I see it as similar to mindfulness and meditation. We are taught to notice our bodies to build stress management and to "balance our effort with our ease" as Julia Marie (2018) states. I fully agree with building balance and I teach that as well. 

The point of this blog is, as counselors I think we each need to find our unique self-care practice and this may change from week to week. For me right now, baking bread, and doing yoga is part of my self-care strategy. 

References
Marie, J. (2018). 30 Day Yoga for Weight Loss. https://www.amazon.com/30-Day-Yoga-Weight-Loss/dp/B07LB93TG3
Willey, B. M. (2023). Understanding the Experiences of Compassion Fatigue Among Counselors in Private Practice: A Phenomenological Approach. Doctoral Dissertations and Projects. 4446.
https://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/doctoral/4446

Maybe you are responding to emails at 1am. ​Maybe you feel the crunch on your time. Or you feel the pressure to try to make money constantly. Maybe you are worried about making the mortgage or rent payment or other bills because referrals were low this month. Private practice may involve different daily stressors because of wearing multiple hats all at once. There is a risk for potential burnout if time boundaries and other boundaries are not in place or their lines are fuzzy.

Some potential stressors or questions could include: Should I take insurance or not? Or which ones should I apply for? How do I apply for insurance contracts? Should I offer late hours or morning hours or both? Should I work on weekends? Do I have the money to hire an assistant? Do I need an accountant? How do I manage my income and keep track of it? Which EHR should I use? Should I offer in person or online counseling or both? Do I need a niche? Do I need to pay myself through payroll and how does that work?
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Feeling torn about the above can lead to a lot of running around and feeling overwhelmed. I have been there. I think the answer to the above questions are, it depends on what you want and what your plan is as well as your business structure. A good accountant can also help with managing many of the above questions and networking with other counselors can help to answer many of the other questions.

I think that exploring your interests and what you want to offer in private practice is part of this process. I think that taking time to plan is also a piece of the puzzle. Also downtime in private practice can be a good thing and can give you an opportunity to plan for the next step or to consider offering a new service. Rolling with the ebb and flow of private practice can help reduce stress. Resisting the temptation to panic or catastrophize can be difficult but acknowledging that we too as counselors sometimes face this can help to reduce the fear. Together we can work this out and make a plan of action that is workable.

I often have to use strategies to coach myself such as identifying the stuck thought and noticing and applying the more helpful thought, using relaxation strategies, building mindfulness, taking breaks and taking time off if needed. We need to make sure we are taking time to heal and recharge.  Maybe we need to schedule in a walk in a park, sitting outside, reading a fun book, zoom meetings with friends. This pandemic has been difficult for counselors too and we need to make sure we are taking care of ourselves as we support others.